And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.Romans 13:11
It started with a dream. Midway through the 2016 campaign, when I was still leaning toward voting conservative no matter what, I had a dream that Donald Trump was screaming at people uncontrollably, his face red and enraged, waving a Nazi flag. I woke up shaken to my core, sweating and sick. I wanted to vomit. All I could think is, “something is really wrong.” The next morning, I googled “Donald Trump – Hitler” and read every article that associated him with Hitler. To my surprise, there were many. I found out that he doesn’t read books but just happens to have a copy of Hitler’s manifesto in his nightstand. I learned about his enthusiastic endorsement by the KKK, which he did not immediately decline, and his association with Steve Bannon, a well-documented white nationalist and leader in the evil alt-right movement. I knew that Hitler didn’t like disabled or “imperfect” people, and I read some articles that suggested Donald Trump held the same penchant for “perfect” people. I learned that Trump was completely obsessed with women’s bodies, and that his recourse, when he felt threatened, was to humiliate them for their perceived flaws. I learned that he was easily angered, once kicking a chair across a conference room, and another time, screaming obscenities at his female construction manager when he didn’t like the green marble she picked out.
I was very unnerved about Trump, but, still, I thought I might be over-reacting. Maybe I was just being too sensitive. I couldn’t get that dream out of my mind, though. Just like he did with Daniel and Joseph in the bible, I believe that God still gives people dreams, but I would never make an assessment of someone based solely on a dream. I figured it could have just been something I ate. And even with all the disturbing articles I read on the internet about Trump, it was possible that people simply wrote very slanted material about him. The important thing for me, at that time, was to secure the Supreme Court of the United States nomination. Surely that was the most important thing to God, too. I decided to file away the information I’d read, and to commit myself to daily prayer surrounding the election.
It was weird though, because during my prayer times, I kept running into verses about evil men that I had never seen in the bible before. Or, I had seen them, but dismissed them. Now, it was as if they were highlighted and jumping off the page at me. I would be reading along innocently, looking for my daily dose of encouragement, and come across this:
An evil man is rebellious to the core. He does not fear God, for he is too proud to recognize and give up his sin. The words he speaks are sinful and deceitful; he does not care about doing what is wise and right. He plans ways to sin while he lies in bed; he is committed to a sinful lifestyle; he does not reject what is evil. Psalm 36:1-4
An evil man is rebellious to the core. He does not fear God, for he is too proud to recognize and give up his sin. The words he speaks are sinful and deceitful; he does not care about doing what is wise and right. He plans ways to sin while he lies in bed; he is committed to a sinful lifestyle; he does not reject what is evil.
Strange, because I have read through the Psalms many times and I couldn’t remember ever reading those verses. Same with Psalm 10:
Yes, the wicked man boasts because he gets what he wants; the one who robs others curses and rejects the Lord. The wicked man is so arrogant he always thinks, “God won’t hold me accountable; he doesn’t care.” He is secure at all times. He has no regard for your commands; he disdains all his enemies. He says to himself, “I will never be upended, because I experience no calamity.” His mouth is full of curses and deceptive, harmful words; his tongue injures and destroys. Psalm 10:3-7
Yes, the wicked man boasts because he gets what he wants; the one who robs others curses and rejects the Lord. The wicked man is so arrogant he always thinks, “God won’t hold me accountable; he doesn’t care.” He is secure at all times. He has no regard for your commands; he disdains all his enemies. He says to himself, “I will never be upended, because I experience no calamity.” His mouth is full of curses and deceptive, harmful words; his tongue injures and destroys.
And many more. In my twenty years of daily bible reading, I had never come across so many verses describing evil, wicked men. From the scriptures, I learned that a wicked man is rebellious to the core, is too proud to fear God, speaks lies, is arrogant and boastful, feels entitled, robs people, does not reject evil, disdains his critics, injures people with his words and doesn’t think God will ever hold him accountable. Throughout the campaign, Donald Trump continued to make promises that conservatives really liked. He also continued to sling abuse, and say offensive things to people, including Senator John McCain. That one was really hard for me to take. An insult to John McCain is an insult to my dad. My dad was imprisoned in the same torture camp at the same time as McCain, and Senator McCain wrote the forward for my book, Six Years in the Hanoi Hilton. I was extremely grieved by Trump’s dismissal of McCain’s heroism and his rudeness toward the Gold Star Khan family and later, Representative John Lewis—another one of our country’s finest champions who deserves our utmost respect.
I was more convinced than ever that Trump had no idea about sacrifice or putting other people first. Even worse, he seemed incapable of setting aside his own selfish ambition and vain conceit to give honor to others. I wondered at how America could possibly be made great with someone at the helm who treated it’s heroes so disrespectfully. I also knew that God highly values the courage and sacrifice of our servicemen. So for evangelical leaders to continue to insist that Donald Trump was chosen by God, even as he said and did things that were the very opposite of the God I knew, was unsettling and confusing. Still, I kept praying for God to align my heart with His, and that I would be grace-filled enough to overlook Trump’s many faults, so that I could vote and pray in accordance with God’s will.
And then I saw the tape of Donald Trump mocking Serge Kovaleski, the disabled reporter. That was it for me. The dream about him waving the Nazi flag came flooding back. I watched the video over and over again, and I became more sick and nauseous with every view. My stomach hurt just watching it. There was no denying what I saw—the gesticulating, the sneer, the vile demeanor—I could “see” the evil on him. I didn’t care what Franklin Graham or James Dobson or any of those guys thought anymore. Conservative platform or not, “God’s chosen,” or not, I hurled myself off the Trump train. God had been trying to warn me, and now that I saw it for myself, I believed Him. My husband, who also really wanted the SCOTUS nomination, agreed— there was an evil presence there.
At the same time, I understood why evangelicals were so set on him. Trump’s promises created a virtual utopia in the mind of the average conservative voter: An overturn of Roe v Wade, protection for Christian business owners, a platform un-affirming of same-sex marriage, an increase in high-paying jobs, a good education for inner-city children, better medical treatment for those on national healthcare, clearance of national debt, strong borders, and support for Israel. Really, what more could a conservative voter want? It seemed like with Trump at the helm of America, Christians would have heaven on earth! And yet, a vote for Trump would have cost too much of my soul.
I’ve learned that what works for me when I have a tough decision to make, is to make it at night, sleep on it, and see how I feel when I wake up in the morning. So before I went to bed, I told God, “I’m sorry about the SCOTUS nomination, but this is the last straw. He mocked a disabled person and I won’t vote for him. I just can’t.” The next morning when I woke up, I had complete peace, and a scene from scripture was flooding through my mind. It was this one:
Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”
Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’”Matthew 4:8-10
It occurred to me then, Jesus could have had the whole world 2000 years ago, which would have meant heaven-on-earth at that time. He could have had control and power to make all the legislative and judicial decisions. He could have had no more abortions, a strong economy, and anything else He could possibly have wanted right then and there. But He said no. He refused to make a deal with the devil. He would not bend his knee to evil, or overlook it, in order to get political power. That knowledge about Jesus is all the confirmation I need to resist Donald Trump. I’ve been hoping for ten months now that my initial concerns about him would go away, but they have not. They have steadily increased.
Do I think Donald Trump is THE anti-Christ? No.
Do I think he acts normal sometimes? Yes. So did Hitler.
Do I think he has a dangerous, un-Christlike, evil spirit that he cannot control and that unleashes chaos and spews forth hatred and venom and abuse? Yes. Yes, I do.
Do I think there is potential for Trump’s dangerous spirit to lead us into a nuclear war? Without a doubt. In fact that may be his aim.
This situation is dire and it not going to go away by the church turning a blind eye to it and pretending everything is OK. In the end, we will find it is counter-productive to align with someone of ungodly character, someone in darkness, in the name of promoting the “Christian values” he hides behind. This presidency was conceived in darkness and it will end in darkness if we do not rise up, speak out, and activate to get him out of the White House.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.Ephesians 6:12
Friends, I’ve started a Facebook ministry as a safe place to unite, ask tough questions, share ideas for activism, and give each other encouragement in this spiritual battle. I’m posting daily there and if you are so inclined you can join me on Facebook at Amy Hawk Ministries. Blessings and love as always!
Woke & Activated,